Codie Lea

Marriage & the Brain

Last night I woke in the middle of the night needing a potty break. So I did my business but as you know, when you wake up sometimes, all of a sudden your brain just clicks on? Yeah, and your brain can sometimes go out of control…

Conversation last night with my brain:

Brain: What happens if the weather is bad for the wedding!? What happens if it all goes terribly wrong!?!?

Me: It will be ok.

Brain: How do you know!?!

Me: Because it always is.

Brain: YEAH BUT…. how do you KNOW!?

Me: Am I marrying Mike?

Brain: Yeah….

Me: Then it is already the most perfect day I could imagine.

And that my friends, is when you know you are marrying the right person. In the middle of the night, I shut up all my worry fears with the simple act of what it is that I am doing, marrying the man I love. 

Here is the deal, if you are getting married, or already had your wedding day, lets all be clear on one simple thing that often gets overlooked by the planning, the Pinterest boards, the millions of decisions that need to be made… This one day is about the marriage you are committing yourself to, the relationship that you are vowing to truly show up to, and the family that you are deciding to cultivate together. All that other junk, is literally like the (very fancy and expensive) peanuts in the delivery box, delivering you and your partner to begin this sacred, challenging, beautiful, amazing journey TOGETHER!

One of the biggest blessings I have had throughout this entire wedding experience, is the question, “What kind of marriage do I want?”  

We day dream about our wedding, the color scheme, the table decor, the food and music, the dress… But how much time do we spend talking about, day dreaming, feeling into what kind of marriage we want? And I do trust that a relationship and a marriage are (although subtle) two difference things. Because you have the two of you up to this moment, and then you have what you two become, how you evolve through the years, how the relationship grows, the twists and turns that follow this moment. What follows from that pivotal moment, if you choose, is an unfailing commitment to show up for yourself and for your relationship no matter what.  

Maybe in years from now I can write a very different blog about marriage (and I am certain I will), but for now, this is the part that I am the most excited about. The fluff of the day is going to be amazing and I am excited about that. But I am more excited to make a vow to the man I love, making promises that are powerful and special to me, knowing that our life together begins a new chapter, a new adventure. And I couldn’t be more excited about the person I get to share it all with.

If you are getting married or heck, even if you are already married:

  • What kind of marriage do you want? 
  • What kind of marriage do you both want?
  • Are you showing up as that person?
  • Do you both want the same kind of marriage?
  • What values do you want to hold sacred together in your marriage?

And remember, you’re togetherness, is why you are doing all the other stuff. Don’t loose site of that. And flipping, HAVE FUN!

Here is to happy marriages everywhere, blessed crazy wedding days and to Mike and I’s incredible new adventure together!!


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Marriage & the Brain

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